Wingletang | A set of excessive beef curtains |
Old Town Café | A visit to the lower regions of a more mature ladies private area "I think the fish might have been off last night at the Old Town Café" |
Barnaby Lane | Where two young men go for a stroll whilst playing for the same side |
Salakee Lane | Where comfy shoe wearing ladies take a stroll |
Bar Point | Aggressive beer induced finger wagging |
Kitty Down | A young lady's first signs of pubity |
Silver Trail | The result of pulling out at the point of no return and shooting your load over a lady's belly |
Beady Pool | The end of Silver trail |
Holy Vale | A choirboy's robe, ie the Vicar lifted young Quentin's Holy Vale |
Pulpit Rock | The state of arousal reached by the vicar after visiting Holy Vale |
David Hunt Hide | A particularly large pair of knickers |
Abbey Pool | The residue of a Monk's wet dream |
Turks Head | The urgent need to find a place to sit down and contemplate life |
Horse Point | When a young lady attempts to swallow more than she can take |
Dump Clump | A particularly nasty set of bum grapes |
Porthellick | A very pungent Old Town Café |
Rose Cottage | A sweat smelling area near Wingletang |
Old Grimsby | Catching crabs at the Old Town Café |
New Grimsby | See Kitty Down |
Carn Near | A close shave with the owner of the Old Town Café after receiving some unwanted attention in the Bishop and Wolf |
Shipman Head | Take the pleasure boat to . A Scilly boatman down Barnaby Lane |
Maypole | Morning glory. Sunrise over Kitty Down. What a young Scillonian female may receive if she inadvertently wanders down Barnaby Lane |
The Roads | A gaping Wingletang |
Newford Duck Pond | A very well used Wingletang |
Seven Stones | A collection of Dump Clumps |
Darrity's Hole | The tradesman's entrance. "The Old Town Café was closed today as the decorators were in so I had to go round to Darrity's Hole". |
Parting Carn | Preparing for an expedition to Wingletang |
Turfy Hill | The stage before Kitty Down |
Heathy Hill | A more mature and unkempt Kitty Down |
Gimble Porth | The resultant offspring when cousins marry |
Lawrence's Brow | Pull out at the last minute before the moment of no return ie "he pulled out right on the Lawrence's Brow leading to Beady Pool" |
Shooters Pool | What comes after the climax of reaching Lawrence's Brow |
Piper's Hole | A Tardis. ie something that is much bigger on the inside than it appears from the outside (Billie Piper's fanny) |
Morning Point | To wake up in a state of arousal |
Tolman Point | What happens when you drive along the Sandwich ancient highway without stopping at the toll booth |
Scilly Profanisaurus
Tuesday, 11 March 2014
Scilly Profanisaurus
Long distance twitches can often drag a bit so whilst travelling down to Cornwall a few years back (1999 I think) Pete Simpson and I compiled this puerile, vulgar but hopefully mildly amusing Profanisaurus based solely on names of places on the Isles of Scilly.
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